When your only friends are hotel rooms
Hands are distant lullabies
If I could turn around I would tonight

~~ I would change the world i would keep his here forever. i would take back every stupid thing i have ever said and i would make it just as he dreamed. I would take back all the stupid actions and freeze it at that momment at the beach... when all i could think to do was kiss him..~~

These roads never seemed so long
Since your paper heart stopped beating leaving me suddenly alone
Will daybreak ever come?

~~why is it that you even MIGHT have to never come back. why is it that it all has to change. why cant you be here as long as i need you?~~

Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands

~~I want you to hold me forever i sound stupid but i do. I want to here voice say i'll be there in a few when i wake up, or i want to ok forward to the bus and school and everyday. b.c. you are the reason im so happy.~~

I thought you said forever
Over and over
A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
Over and over
Complaints of Violins become my only friends

August evenings
Bring solemn warnings
To remember
to kiss the ones you love goodnight

You never know what temporal days may bring
So Laugh, love, live free, and sing
When life is in discord
Praise ye the Lord

Who's gonna call on Sunday morning?
Who's gonna drive you home?
I just want one more chance
To put my arms in fragile hands

I thought you said forever
Over and over
A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
Over and over
Complaints of Violins become my only friends

Friends

I thought you said forever
Over and over
A sleepless night becomes bitter oblivion
These thoughts run through my head
Over and over
Complaints of Violins become my only friends

I thought you said forever
Over and over
(And over and over)

These thoughts run through my head

Merry christmas.
happy new years.
friends.
fun.
tyler.
me.
beds.
clothes.
bad ideas.
help.
love you
need you.
margarita.
hugs.
bikinis.
happy draw.
bras.
ceiling fans.
roffs.
jumping.
holding hands.
the moon.
cartwheels.
take off.
breaking speed
faster.
harder.
pain.
tramatized.
fuck.
hands.
hearts.
good kids.
ohh please.

<3 fal

I LOVE YOU!!! YOU ARE JUST WHAT I WILL ALWAYS NEED <3
~~~~THE SECRET BAD KIDS TRIED TO BREAK US UP....~~~~
But I love you so much. Never think otherwise. I need you. I really do. without you i dont think i could live. When kelly told me you thought i broke up with you i felt like my world just fell apart and it did. YOU are my world. my Whole entire world and i get all the fun quotes now... YOu are worth it.

MY TYLER QUOTES

just in case you were wondering..
you mean the world to her

Isn’t it scary thinking that if
Just one little thing had been
Different,
I could not even know you
Right now?

I want someone who won't care that I'm
incapable of sitting still, that I can't grasp
the concept of cleaning, and I refuse to be
ladylike. Someone who realizes that half
of the decisions I make are usually ones I
regret, and I have the right to overreact
at any given moment. I want someone
who knows how completely insane I am,
and he wouldn't want me any other way

TYLER CURTIS JAKUBISYN

ever since i can remember, all i ever wanted was to be someones girl to be the one that he adores and lives for. to be the one that he sees the world in. the girl he understands ; the one that doesnt ask for too much because he'd give the world. the one that he can stay up all night with and even though he's tired he'll hear every word she says because everything she says matters. it all has a point. its all from a beautiful mind
when i find a guy thats in that state of mind ; that can love someone as wholey and fully and perfectly as that ; thats when i've found my true love and until i find him, i dont need to waste my time with anyone else because no matter how long it works out for, in the end i know i wont be truly happy.

i would like to have.
a boy who isn't afraid to be himself.
a boy who is truthful to me.
a boy who isn't lazy; does something physical.
a boy who would call me just to say goodnight.
a boy who i can have an amazing time with.
a boy who can make me smile even at the worst times.
a boy who doesn't always have to go out somewhere.
a boy who can be romantic.
a boy who loves his music as much as i do.
a boy who is down to earth.
a boy who knows what he wants to do in life.
a boy who can have an intelligent/stupid conversation with me.
a boy who isn't like the ones in a story book.
a boy who is real.
a boy who loves me for me
I want a boy that will hold my hand.
a boy that will kiss me just because.
a boy that can talk to me all night about nothing.
a boy that i can build a rocketship with so we can go to the moon and look at the stars together.
a boy that can make me go crazy.
a boy that can sing to me.
a boy that can eat cereal with me on his floor while he plays me the guitar.
a boy that thinks we're cute.
a boy who is basically amazing.
A boy with:
A sense of style
Confidence
And a touch of class
With opions of his own
with a heart that doesn't need breaking or fixing

so my first thought on this damn site was 'WTF?!? everyone can read my thoughts. I dont want them to know how rtarted/in love/ random/blonde i am' Then i changed my mind.. I need the world to know what im thinking.. Even if they dont know me.. i listen to everyone else openly.. i guess it would be good to tell everyone one what im thinking once in a while.

so to start. My name is falon. It's a wierd name.. not many people have it, it's pronounces (f-al-lin) and yess.. i accept and anser to anything from falon/fal/ fally/angel/beautiful to stupid/idiot/shitface/kita. You could call me tyler or margarita for all i care. (they are my two best friends)
Second i guess i will tell you alittle about my life

Up until about 6th grade I was ..mm.. chubby. VERY chubby. and i had a huge crush on a blonde boy. he was so cute. Danny matthews. -laughs at self- and then in 7th grade my like twisted. My grandmother (who had cancer for 2 years by then) was told she would die within the next 6 monthes. She was my world. She raised me and taught me to be the person i am. When she got sick my life was twisted around. y family spent alot of time leaving me home and i learned how to 'maintain a house hold'. I also got my first boyfriend Johnathan. and thought i was in love for 5.2 seconds.broke up with his smart mouth. up until the end of 8th grade he was my best friend. then he became an ass.. back to 7th grade now.. then i met jake. Jake was a pretty boy -blonde hair blue eyes-. He listened to metal and lived in wolcott(like 2 hours away) at the same time i met my best fiend margarita and her boyfriend Ryan. Y trouble I KNOW. I kinda sorta dated ryan.. at the same time. he was blonde (as well as jake) and i thought he was the like having a best friend who i could kiss every now and them. I had the most fun ever with ryan. I was like a little kid, i watched starwars and played video games, i ate only candy and ran around and played tag alot, i got soaked in the middle of february and played battle ships. I was a lozer. and then i would go back to school and we would both pretend nothing ever happened. Somewhere around christmas. My stepfather tried to rape me. TRIED. veryone always asks how so i will just tell you. First he gave me zanex (or however it's spelled)-its a heavy sleeping drug- and while my mom was out wiht her freinds he came in my room and.. i dunno.. i really dont. i was knocked out.. all i know is mommy came home and i hd no clothes on and he was in my room sitting on my bed.
Needless to say... i moved back in wiht my grandmother until he could move out. I like living with her and my grandfather.
Everything went well up until the begining of april. when ryan decided to reak ritas heart. FOR ME. I am stupid. i will tell you that now. more importantlyi am concieded(not so much since this though)okso ya.. ryan asked me out. so i said yes.. broke up with jake and dried my best friends tears all in one week. Ok.. not much happened at the end of the scool year really, nothing i remeber.
then summer came.
the last day of school i died my hair PINK (hot pink)
I went to ritas 4th of july party and did some stuff with morgan (everyones fuck buddy) -i am still a virgin >.<-
and then CHRISTAN camp.
hat was the highlight of my summer.
I hadn't seen ryan in forever and i finally got a chance to see him.. i was histatic =)it was a suprize. so he was at christian camp for 2 weeks. i wanted to go for 1 so after he was there for one i showed up. I got situated and went to go find him.
He wasn't so enthused to see me.
apearently he had cheated on me a christan came with a girl names jenny.
I had had alot of boyfriend while i dated ryan and i probley had it coming but i dunno. it was the first time i ever felt not good enough for someone. I felt like i shouldn't be living for how stupid and unimoptant i was
guess christian camp is a good place to have a break down. but i'm not one to break down.. it's more like screaming your heart out without making a single noice cause your bitting your tounge to hard. and thats just what i did. but i got over it by the end of the week

and for the rest of the summer i spent as much time as i could with ryan. but still school came backa nd he was a ghade up so off to highschool he went. and i was a bad kid AGAIN. so for the rest of the summer i kissed a good amout of boys who i dont care to remeber.
and then my birthday came. Octobr 4th. and ryan decided to call me
It went something like this-
"hey fal, happy birthday!"
"thanx!"
"so how is it so far"
"alrgiht im having fun. I miss you though, i haven't seen you in a while. wanna hang out this weekend or something?"
-silence-
"hold on, video games AHHHH"
-he drops phone-
-john (who i would soon know) picks it up-
"hi im ryans lawyer"
"-giggles- well hello"
"ryan has a proposition"
-sounding fun- "ok what is it mr. lawyer?"
"he want to break up with you, ok?"
"ok.... i got to go bye"
and i cried for the rest of my birthday =)
thank you ryan.
well then i guess it was alright.
I got over it, i dated matthew for a good 8 monthes or more... from november 22 to somewhen in july. He was a tough boy to deal with. he had alot of 'issues' but i guess most of my boyfriends are projects... Matt was always jelous of other guys, even when i talkedto them, and he told me he loved me and thats WHY i had to do things for him/ with him. He was controling but in a way i liked it. i liked being told what to do and having no say in anything.. it thetime no one was noticing. My grandmother passed away the Day before he asked me out and he knew it. he knew i needed someone to tell me it was ok and tell me what to do. and he did just that. i could thank him for that. and he helped me to grow up.
After my grandmother died i stayed with my grandfather at the main house also wiht my cousin (17) who i was used to living with. I liked it there. I was my HOME.
I went next door to my moms house to get my clothes for the day for chool at like 6:30 in the morning like i usually would but she already left so i tryed to open my window. needless to say sleepy girls and glass dont mix. it broke and my wrist turned into the biggest scare i would ever get. It looks like im emo. like right across the vein.
I guess the cheating this never really left though b/c in march i went to a NES ( nasa explorer School) conferance and kissed a boy in DC.
Matt got Mega jelous and he doesn't even know i kissed him, he knew i hungout with him and that was enough to blow his mind. He told my teacher that i was out past curfew, which i was, and i got suspended and called a slut by the prinical and had an expulsioun hearing. luckily for me because of my grades and level of success and contribution in the new haven school system they aloud me to stay.
This past summer wasn't so bad. I didn't kiss any unknown boys and i didn't do anything much.
I went to christian camp, ryan didn't go.
I hung out with john and will and matt(not matthew)and margarita came. It was all fun.and when i got home matt had called my house a bilion times and even had the ms. brown (my teacher) looking for me. That was alittle to over obsessive. I broke up with him.
I spent the rest of the ummer bored and reading alot. Over ritas alot too.
Then School started.
HIGH SCHOOL! (-_-)
The first person i looked for when i got on was Sammie (my cousin- junior)but the first person i noticed was this pretty blonde boy~ the cute boy.
He remeinded me alot of jake and i had to look at him alot to make sure he wasn't but i couldn't help but think 'gosh he is hot' so ya im a big lozer.
and i didn't know his name for the first 3 days of school, but i knew he was in my tech class. and i knew he was my first 'crush' not someone who i liked or LOVED but someone i wanted to know and someone who i couldn't get out of my mind.
Then on friday we had our grade meeting and he knew jamie (my firend from Middle school) so i sat near jamie and i learned his name was TYLER. I also knew he was on my bus which ment he lived in east haven. I went ot the fall fest and kind secretly hoped i would see him there. only seeing him gave me giggley feelings. and to my suprize we had alot of the same freinds. To make a long -BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE- into something short, i was talking like ACUALLY speaking and walking home with him by sunday =)) and talking to him online XDDDD
SPAZ MUCH!!!!
and on monday we talked during tech and on the bus o the way home.
ohh and a little side note ~ we got fishys at the fall fest!!!! and i asked him to stay after every thursday with me to take care of them =D
He said yes
but i have to stop with the boy for a minute and describe fall fest. I went with margarita. and that day (fri.) met kelly, KD (rita's friends)little sister, who is my age. and she is my pengiun and my bestfriend and me her and tyelr to this day are 3 of a kind =)
back to my life since then... so ya everything was cool and i ended up going saling with tyler every tuesday and wednsday and every thursday in the fish lab (i go to sound school 0.o FISHYS!!!!!
And so ya to make my like 5000000.00000 times simpiler he asked me out
and i guess it was the same as before b.c every wekkend, up until now i have spent with him, or atleast i have seen him at least once.
and now.. 3 monthes later (ON CHRISTMAS XDDDDD) I am still seeing him everyday andf still so in love with him I love spending every second of my life with him
-inside joke- I'm His wife!!!!!!!!
I guess i should menchine my mom's 50000th boyfiend joe, she clames to love this one -rolls eyes- but hey, i like him, he is buying me a boat so
he's cool.

<3 fal

P.S. If you could think of anything i might have missed or anything you wanna know just ask...